All the things I’ve aspired to he achieved, and it still didn’t fill the hole
Preface
If there’s one good thing that can come from 2017, it will be a willingness to talk about mental health instead of whispering about it in private.
I was at a dinner party last night, and I brought up Chester’s death to try and find some comfort with other people. What I sought was validation for my belief in how music can touch people, even if we might grow out of it. For a brief moment, somebody’s voice can go through the ear, hit the brain, and be channeled directly to the heart and soul.
Hybrid Theory did that for millions of people. In the way History looks back on how Grunge killed Hair Metal, Linkin Park punched above its weight class and changed the game. A band is a construct of its parts, and Chester brought something unique and individual to the scene.
As A Musician…
It’s tough being so wrapped up in how to make music and have personal interests but take time to reflect on why other people might like a tune or band that doesn’t seem to resonate inside. It’s not fair to those baring their soul and aspiring to share out of compulsion. There’s an internal competition going on in every passionate musician to try and achieve something, better than anybody has done it before, because having a voice matters.
The hardest part is putting it all out there and nobody listens
That didn’t happen for Linkin Park. They showed an aspiration and work ethic that resulted in music and undeniable acceptance. It’s like the one dream comes true, to finally be heard, and yet an audience of millions doesn’t have the answer or cure for what got them there. Listening to the music, learning the lyrics, embracing the emotions — fundamentally, that’s what dedicated creators want to happen.
What Now?
Success is earned, but also highly dependent on luck. Being in the right place at the right time counts, as does having spent hours and days and months and years trying to hone a craft worth sharing with an audience.
2017 is not really very different than years past in watching how the torch gets passed from one generation to another. But there’s something really disturbing to me that bands like The Rolling Stones, Don Henley, and U2 are all doing great while the Generation X & Y idols they helped birth are killing themselves. The correlation of hopelessness and the statistics regarding opiate deaths in the United States are hard to deny in this context.
A lot of the criticism surrounding Kurt’s death seemed to focus on drugs or personal issues as a way to make him less important than Elvis. Kurt was one of the first people that I can remember speaking out in interviews about how his life growing up wasn’t all rainbows and describing how other people treated him in ways he didn’t like. It was tough, and he carried that with him, channeled it, looked up to The Melvins and made something of himself.
All of us artists know we’re losers in the sense of being able to win the lottery of money for what we do, but we don’t need the world to remind us of it. Every once and a while, a person makes it against the odds, whether it’s Bob Dylan or Willie Nelson or Buckethead. Artists who blaze their own trail leave much to study for those who want to follow, who can recognize how much sacrifice it all entails.
Why Chester?
I have a habit of trying to understand the context for why I feel a certain piece of Art speaks to me. In the case of Linkin Park, I was able to actually hear a band that didn’t step on each other’s toes. Every instrument had a role, every song was created with care. They did it in a unique fashion though.
Chester’s voice reminded me of how BB King played guitar
One note, held properly, arcing over a song, has meaning. It’s a risk. It might not work, but with Chester, he made it work. So did Chris Cornell. Being unique and different meant something because it wasn’t about making money, it was about sharing. Creating something to show to the world.
Chester’s life story made me appreciate my own upbringing all the more, because I never suffered like he did. I have my own pain and issues, but by comparison, I saw somebody who really, truly, tried hard. That’s all I can ever ask for of myself and of others — to just try — and in July 2017, Chester chose something else. He was tired, he tried.
I’m grateful for all that he gave, just like so many before and those that will follow. Musicians are part of an ever growing conversation, and when we start losing those voices, I think it’s very important to step back and think logically — to support our emotional well-being — about how we can help each other better. No matter how rich, or the nation from which one immigrated, or gender — what I take forward from losing Scott Weiland, Chris Cornell, and Chester Bennington is a bit of peace that they did what their Souls commanded, they tried.
They succeeded in ways I can’t imagine, but right now, I feel they lost one of the hardest challenges I’m still dealing with. Life. And I miss them for the support they gave to me on the path that they helped form.
Mortality is a real sonofabitch — but it can’t steal your accomplishments
So, ladies and gentlemen, I implore you to treat mental health discussions with integrity, compassion, and a willingness to be there when somebody needs you. It will never be forgotten.
